Magic Diarrhea Juice
Hello there. I haven’t written in a very long time. Mostly out of pure laziness.I had to get a colonoscopy last week. Let me tell you, if you have never had thirty feet of hose snaked up through your anus and into your intestines, you don’t know what you are missing. The best part of the procedure is the night before when you have to drink 20 ounces of magic diarrhea juice. HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!!! I drank that stuff and about an hour went by and I felt like I had to fart. Except, it wasn’t a fart. it was a Saturn rocket trying to propel me through the roof of my house! WOW!
I grabbed the bowl so I wouldn’t shoot through the ceiling of my house. The gastroenterologist did not find anything wrong with me.
I am just lucky I guess that whenever I go to the bathroom I pee out of my but.
JJ
Ah. That’s lovely. My husband almost had a sigmoidoscopy but he chickened out at the 11th hour. Actually, he chickened out right after I bought the magic diarrhea juice and informed him of the diet he’d have to maintain the few days prior. I guess all bets are off when the only thing you can eat is non-red Jello.
This made me smile…(:
but im glad your okay.
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Isn’t that nasty? I had a friend who felt bad, went to the doctor and in SIX WEEKS was dead from stage 4 colon cancer. Everyone in our group of friends got a colonoscopy right away – one guy found out he had stage 1 colon cancer and it saved his life. After getting cancer-free, he quit his computer job and is now a professional magician. True story.
Remember Dennis Wolfberg? One of the funniest guys ever, especially when he got worked up. Remember his routine about the rigid sigmoidoscopy? “They SHOULD be scared! Run Jews, run!” Saw him in Baltimore and he signed my colonoscopy photo.
Cheers!