Like you, I spend a lot of time in cyber-space. Its not always for porn either. Between, myspace, this website, and doing “research” surfing the sports pages online for my wednesday sports illustrated.com articles, I am online for a few hours each day. Now that I have set the scene of my web existence for you I will make my message clear and concise: IF YOU TYPE LOL YOU ARE A FUCKING MORON AND AN ASSHOLE!” Far too many times I have recieved an email from someone and they have had the balls to type LOL after some sentence. LOL, of course, stands for, “Laughing outloud.” BULLSHIT! There is no way you are actually sitting at your computer at work or at home laughing out loud at some inane shit you just typed in an email. It takes alot to get someone to laugh out loud. It confounds entire networks. Movie studios have entiire focuus groups sit around and try and figure out what will make people laugh out loud.

Are you trying to tell me that as you type your sorry message you made your self laugh ot loud? Well, I dont believe you. What kind of a weirdo sits in a room at a laptop laughing out loud? Do you want to know what makes me laugh out loud? People falling down in public. People falling down in public that type LOL would make me piss my fucking pants.

Another gem I have recieved over the years is ROFL. This stands for “Rolling on the floor laughing.” Really? Did you have a seizure while you were laughing out loud? Are you legless? What the fuck is so funny that you actually hit the floor to laugh? Was there a fire and you were in the middle of Stop Drop And Roll immediately befor you started Laughing Out Loud?

Ever recieve this one? LMAO! “Laughing my ass off” Anyone who has ever typed any of the above abreviations is a phony and a fake. No one rolls there ass of. No one drops from their chair to laugh at something they wrote themselves unless they are criminally insane. Maybe I am jaded (gee, ya think?) but I find it hard to believe that people all over the country at this very moment are laughing out loud, Rolling on the floor laughing, or Laughing their asses off while typing at their computer. And if they are, why is it that when these people leave their computers, and venture out into the world, most of them are complete assholes?
Jay