SARAH MCLACHLAN MUST BE STOPPED!!!!!
Oh my God! I am so sick and tired of this woman’s commercials asking me to adopt abused and homeless bum pets. This commercial of hers seems to be following me. First the Sarah McLachlan music starts playing. It sounds like if an angel stubbed its toe. Then the commercial shows about a dozen dogs and cats in various degrees of disrepair. They show a cat stuck behind a wall (always hilarious). Then they show a dog that can’t stop shaking. (Maybe the shelter was cold?) Then Sarah McLachlan and her fucking halo come on and she says, “Hi, I’m Sarah McLachlan. Everyday, thousands of pets are abused or abandoned”

She then goes on to ask me for money to help all the hungry dogs and cats out there. Is this bitch out of her mind?!!?

WHAT ABOUT ALL THE HUNGRY PEOPLE?!?!?!

Seriously, each day all of us are asked by a homeless person or an addict living on the streets for spare change. Shouldn’t we help the hungry PEOPLE before we run thousands and thousands of commercials for a Lilith Fair act trying to get me to shell out money for a cat stuck behind a wall?

I love animals. I mean I freaking LOVE animals. I just think as a society we should find it in our infinite wisdom to run a few more commercials for the FOOD BANK then for hungry cats.

One of the dogs in the commercial has his entire body wrapped in an ace bandage like they just got him off the set of a freaking Tom and Jerry cartoon. Maybe they could wrap his head up in bandages too like he has a tooth ache on the Little Rascals. At one point in the commercial, during a particularly horrible portion of Sarah McLachlan’s ‘save these angels/animals song’, they show a dog that only has one eye. Now THAT is dog that I would adopt. I would name him Sammy Davis Jr. and I would tell my guests not to stare at him when they come over but I would train the dog to stare at my guests with his one eye all night. They would get freaked out and leave and then me and Sammy D would laugh and I would blow pot smoke in his face and tell him it was to keep his good eye healthy.

I wish Sarah McLachlan would do a commercial for the FOOD BANK. The levels of supplies are at an all time low. She could do us all a favor and NOT sing a song. The entire commercial could just be her walking into the food bank with a few trunk loads of non perishable items. As she walked out of the FOOD BANK, I would love to see a long line of hungry dogs and cats waiting there for her to take them all back to fucking Canada with her.

Me and Sammy D would love that.

 When Sean Penn was in New Orleans helping Katrina victims, one reporter asked him, “what about the animals?” He replied, “When in doubt, I go human.”

Amen brother.

jj